How often in our lives have we heard the phrase ‘sick and tired’ either from the mouth of our mothers or from our own mouths for our children? I remember a comedy routine by Bill Cosby when he was referencing his childhood and his mother was scolding him with the beginning of the phrase ‘sick’ and he finished the ‘and tired’ and said he doesn’t remember anything after that. It is a phrase uttered by mothers when they are just at the end of the line and fed up with whatever situation is going on with the family.

I am a mother of a soldier now veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. I’m not a politician, lawmaker, general or leader of a country. I do not make the decisions to send soldiers off to war but I do see first hand the destruction that war produces – not only on the body but on the spirit of the soldier as well as the family and those who love them. And yes, I’m sick and tired of wars in our world. As with so many mothers it isn’t the labor of pain that is unbearable, it is watching one’s child in pain – whether physical, mental or spiritual that is the most unbearable pain of all. I can look at my son see gaping wounds in his soul that need to heal for they are festering wounds of the horror the war left behind. I know my son doesn’t see the wounds that his family sees. He believes if he just gets his life back in order everything will be okay as before his multiple deployments.

PTSD falls heavy upon the soldiers but it also falls upon the family and friends of the soldier. My son is a veteran of two terms of deployment in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. He was sent to Iraq at the beginning of the war, remaining 12 months; came home for six months, went back for 12 more months, returned home for a year and then was sent to Afghanistan for 15 months. He is now out of the military at his choosing because his young family fell apart while he was at war on his third deployment and his children needed him home. It was a painful decision because he loved being a soldier and the military life. He is the type of soldier the military needs but the destruction that he could not stop, the protection he could not provide was happening to his young family and he made the decision to leave in order to be more for his children.

For so many years I spoke out against the abuse of our soldiers by our government for treating them as robots and androids as though their lives and their families’ lives are expendable. A few years back I had the privilege to sit down with six other military families members to speak to Ohio Senator George Voinovich. I brought the picture of my son and his family and showed him that my son is not a robot or an android but a human being putting his life on the line for our country. I wanted justification for the multiple deployments that ignore the needs of the humanity of the soldier. I also had the privilege of being included in a conference call with Ohio Senator Sharrod Brown in which I asked him when all our soldiers are finally home from these wars and later into their lives when all the horror they experienced comes vomiting out of them – who will be there to help clean it up and to help them heal.

There are two losses from such wars – the physical loss of life and the loss of a part of one’s soul/spirit. The men and women from these two wars have experienced over and over again and again one deployment after another without having a chance to heal from the last deployment. It didn’t help that a representative from Ohio commented that the lives our young men and women was a small price to pay for this war. It doesn’t help that the military and society has this hang-up about seeking mental help – viewed as a weakness more than a definitive need. And it certainly didn’t help when the country was told to look away and ‘pretend’ there is no war and to go about our lives as though everything is just fine, while a certain segment of our society – the military suffered in so many ways.

Those of us in military families who have spoken out against the war are met with ugliness and destructive comments from our fellow citizens among which we are called unpatriotic and un-American. I’ve had friends tell me to stop speaking out because it would ‘hurt my son’s career!’ Really? He’s been thrown into the fires of hell with several deployments for a war that was a lie and I’m hurting his career? Of course none of them had a loved one in the military so I ignored their ‘concern.’ I had other friends tell me that, hey, this war isn’t as bad as Vietnam – there haven’t been that many deaths! I sat and wondered – well tell that to the mother and dad, or the wife and children of the soldier who just died or to the young mother of the warring country holding her dead toddler in her arms and tell them that this isn’t as bad as Vietnam.

As a mother I want to just explode and say to others who seek war, who seek to destroy our world that “I’m Sick and Tired!” Somewhere leaders and fanatic religious within our world have decided that children – our children are needed to fight ‘their wars – their beliefs.’ As mothers of the world, who are we allowing to take our babies we now nurse and turn them into killing machines? As mothers of the world, who are we allowing to convince our children that suicide is a good thing to promote fanatic beliefs? As mothers of the world who are we allowing to use our children as robots while ignoring the humanity our child?

Have we learned nothing from our past histories that violence and killing only causes more violence and more killings? Holy prophets of all the great religions have been sent to give the message of peace and love. Why do powerful leaders and religious fanatics seem to always turn a deaf ear to such messages and why do they seem to have such a fear of these messages? Even in what they call justified wars it often leads to more wars and more killings of the innocents.

As a mother, I want to take these leaders who want war and killings and put them into a room and sit them down. They will be forced to come to a conclusion or never leave the room. Basically a permanent time-out until matters are resolved. However if they insist that fighting is the only answer then they are to strip and be naked of clothing and weapons, along with no food or water; just four walls and a concrete floor. The room could be freezing cold or horrifically hot. There will be no bodyguards, no one protecting them. It’s not about making things nice for them it is about facing their decision and not using others to make it happen. War is ugly and if they choose to fight then so be it – but no longer on their terms of using others. They will have to face each other because mothers around the world have decided that our children are not going to be used by such people for their agenda of violence.

No I’m not a politician, lawmaker, general or leader of a country. I’m also not naiveté of the powers of evil within our world or the need for military presence. I’m an American citizen and a mother of a veteran who has had enough. There is a March for Life happening every year in our nation’s capital with the focus on the life of the unborn. I believe that if people take the time to march for the child within the womb, then they must not stop “marching for life” once the child is born.

I’m a mother who is just sick and tired of the fact that we fail to learn these many years the destruction that war does to a person, to a family, and to a nation and ultimately the world. It must never be a knee-jerk reaction but the very last resort and then think again. I’m a mother who is so sick and tired of those who feed into violence as the only solution to a challenging situation. It is time for mothers to state; ‘not with my child and mean it.’

By Susan Handle Terbay

In July 2011, U.S. Army veterans Brock McIntosh and Jacob George returned to Afghanistan with a U.S. delegation for nonviolence, eager to meet with local Afghan peace and social justice organizations. Their mission was twofold: to gain a greater understanding of ordinary Afghans’ needs, fears, and desires for their country, and to discover ways U.S. activists can support indigenous nonviolent efforts to reach those goals.

Now back in the U.S., Brock and Jacob are prepared to report back to the American public on this landmark first dialogue between occupied and former occupiers. Embarking on a nation-wide speaking tour, Brock, Jacob, and other veterans will address the problematic nature of the U.S. occupation in Afghanistan using firsthand anecdotes as both soldier and observer. Brock and Jacob will draw on their recent experience in Afghanistan to facilitate a discussion on meaningful actions we as Americans can take to support Afghan civilians and their right to self-determination.

Click here to find an event near you.

MFSO is partnering with 10 Years and Counting, a coalition of artists and activists who have come together to mark the 10th anniversary of the war.  We can use this unfortunate, yet historic moment as inspiration and maximize the power of creativity to illustrate the costs of war, or how 10 years of warfare have affected you personally.  Throughout the month we will be showcasing art from military families, veterans, and service members on our website, as well as on the 10 Years and Counting website.  Send us your poetry, music, photographs, videos, blogs, and visual art.  Email your submission(s) to samantha@mfso.org

Art is a way to break through communication barriers, to express things we couldn’t otherwise.  It can be a way to heal, or a way to protest. “Art” can be anything, any way you want to express what 10 years of war has meant to you, how it has affected your family, or how it has changed the world we live in – poetry, music, photography, writing, visual art, or videos.

General submissions will be featured on our website (credited to the artist, of course), and can be emailed to samantha@mfso.org.  You can also submit art or writing for a few specific projects, listed below.

We also encourage you to organize an education or arts-based event during the month leading up to the anniversary, September 7 through October 7th. Click here to learn more.

Do You Love a Veteran? Call for Submissions

Do You Love a Veteran is a zine made up of contributions from families, friends, and partners of veterans.

For more info on the zine, how to submit, and some inspiration, click here.

He Sapa: Heart of the People – Call for Submissions

Over Memorial Day Weekend 2011, a group of military families and veterans gathered in the Black Hills of South Dakota for a healing retreat. The presenters included spiritual elders, veterans, medical doctors, social workers, and healers from different Native traditions.  The participants created art and writing which will provide the basis for this zine.  We invite veterans, military families, and Gold Star families to submit art and writing about their own experiences with healing.  Questions and submissions can be sent to samantha@mfso.org

-DAY #1: Text Message, Sunday, June 19, 2011 @ 9:50 am-

Mom: Did you make it to your new base okay? Call when you can. Love you.
Son: Everything is good
Mom: Keep me posted! Let me know when and how we can communicate.
Son: Okay I will

-1:59 pm-

Son: Hey the 3-71 Cav 3rd Brigade 10th Mountain left in Feb or March. Some guys are leaving late next month. It’s 50/50 if I go.
Mom: How do they decide? Did they go to Afghanistan? Kandahar?
Son: I don’t know how they decide. They went to Kandahar.

-DAY #2: Text Message, Monday, June 20, 2011 @ 9:19 am-

Son: I was told I would be going some time in the next 30 days
Mom: That soon? Are others going? Will you be able to give us a date?
Son: Yes there are others going. No date yet
Mom: How do you feel about going to Afghanistan? Do you feel prepared? Does it scare you?
Son: I really don’t want to talk about it right now

-DAY #3: Text message, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 @ 4:15 pm-

Son: I leave July 25th for Afghanistan
Mom: Can I come with you?

Hi, my name is Patty. I am the Mom of a 10th Mountain Division U.S. soldier. My 21-year old son graduated from his AIT (Army Intensive Training) on June 9, 2011. On June 18th, he re- ported to Fort Drum, NY. On July 25th he is scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan.

3-days was all it took for my world to crash. 3-days was all it took for the U.S. military to change my son from the “new soldier on the block” to “the next soldier to be deployed”. I still have not wrapped my mind around the fact that my son is really going to Afghanistan. Only a few days ago I listened as President Obama publicly announced his “plan” to bring home 33,000 U.S. troops by September 2012, leaving 68,000 to continue in this war that has no promise of end in sight. I had small hopes as I listened, that President Obama would hear the cries of a nation to bring their children home. I had small hopes that President Obama would see the desperation of a nation plagued by unemployment, loss of homes, lack of health care, declining educational insti- tutions, communities devastated by natural disasters, and bring the war dollars home. I had small hopes that President Obama would speak to a nation of people with words of encouragement and hope. I had small hopes that President Obama would say “Troops, job well-done. It is time for you ALL to come home.”

Small hopes, while small, are still hopes. Yet this morning, as I write this, my small hopes have become unstoppable tears. Tears for the more than 6,000 soldiers that will not be walking through doors to be embraced by their loved ones. Tears for the many soldiers wounded, whose lives will forever be impacted and changed by this “war on terror”. Tears for the thousands of civilians wounded or killed under the guise of imposing self-determination. Tears for the loved ones who sit by the phone waiting to hear the voice of their soldier. Tears for the loved ones fear- ful to answer that knock on the door. Tears for those that may still be lost.

As the President’s drawdown plan begins to permeate my life, many questions arise.

Mr. President, if you are really planning on bringing our troops home, why are there soldiers now waiting to be deployed?

I understand the theory of rotating troops. I understand the advantages of rotating the troops; rested soldiers have higher morale and are better suited to keep the enemy engaged. I also under- stand the disadvantages of rotating the troops; the strategy requires additional planning and man- agement skills. It also requires a heavier investment in personnel, training and equipment.

Mr. President, as U.S. soldiers return home, shouldn’t it be the responsibility of the Afghan gov- ernment to fill their replacement? We’ve been there for 10-years, surely we have provided enough training to allow the Afghans to begin to defend themselves and define their own road to self-determination.

Mr. President, what do you consider victory in Afghanistan? Are you “holding out” on bringing our troops home until we have reached your definition of victory? How long can you continue to ignore 73% of the nation wanting the war in Afghanistan to end? How many more soldiers must sacrifice their lives for you to bring them home? How many more dollars that are needed here at home, must be deflected to a cause that fewer and fewer believe in?

And many other questions that still remain to be answered.

In the meantime, my hopes that became tears, quickly becomes rage. Rage at feeling helpless to make a difference. Rage at feeling hopeless that the people will ever be heard by a government removed. Rage that as a Mom, I can’t make the journey to Afghanistan with my son. I’ve been there through all of the other scary situations he has faced; sometimes to alleviate the fear, some- times to help heal the wound, sometimes to show the way, and sometimes to just hold his hand. Now I am being asked to stay behind. Now I am being asked to trust. Now I am being asked to wait as my son makes a journey to a land where outcomes are unknown.

I now start almost every conversation the same. My name is Patty, and I AM the Mom of a 10th Mountain Division U.S. Soldier. I now begin and end my day with the same prayer;

“Please help me find a way to be heard. Please let me find a way to help end this war and to bring them all home. Help me find a way to get up everyday and do what I have to do and to not be frozen by my fears. Please help me find a way to support my son.”

Hopes, while small, are still hopes. Tears while they become rage, are still empowering. I will not be quiet. I will not go away. I will not let the powers-that-be forget what is at stake. I will not let anyone forget that ending this war matters to me. I will not let anyone forget mine or anyone else’s soldier. It is time to bring them all home now!

Patty Bennett Mom of 10th Mountain Division U.S. Soldier & Member of Military Families Speak Out

Anna Berlinrut, whose son is currently in Afghanistan, was interviewed on Between the Lines radio program.

Pat Alviso, Southern California chapter leader, whose son recently returned from Afghanistan, was interviewed on NBC before Obama’s speech presenting his plan for a slow withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Pat Alviso and her husband, MFSO Board Member Jeff Merrick, hosted a viewing party at their home in Long Beach attended by members of MFSO, Gold Star Families Speak Out, Veterans for Peace, and the media.  Photos of the viewing party were picked up by the Associated Press and run alongside the articles about Obama’s speech in many newspapers and websites around the country.

The LA Times used a photo of MFSO Board Member Rossana Cambron at the viewing party, whose son is currently serving in Iraq.

Reuter’s quoted MFSO’s official response in their international article on the President’s withdrawal plan – in English and Spanish.

Friday, after eight more men died Thursday in the war on Afghans and Representative Jim McGovern’s Amendment calling to end the war was narrowly defeated, a soldier’s mother has taken a stand and spoken out against the war.

Mary Hladky, a mother of a Soldier serving in Kandahar explains about the eight deaths, “The trap was set: first a small IED went off which injured some soldiers, other soldiers rushed in, and then the big one went off.”

The men were members of the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF).

Hladky, a member of Military Families Speak Out, asked in a written statement today, “What are they dying for? A corrupt Karzai government the Afghan people don’t want?”

“No one ever gives a good answer to why our servicemembers keep dying – because there simply isn’t one.”

The number of U.S. Military Casualties In Afghanistan has reached 1,551 and foreign soldiers killed in Afghanistan in 2011 has reached 189 according to Kashmir Watch.

Last year was the deadliest year for ISAF with 711 NATO-led soldiers killed.

This Memorial Day weekend, to honor men and women in uniform and those no longer with us, Hladky is urging the public to do two things:

1. Click here to send an email to the White House. Tell them why you want our troops brought home now.
2. Then, send the President & Vice President a handwritten letter. (They carry a lot more weight than an email.)

“This has got to stop. We must apply ‘people pressure’ and show our President that the American public will not remain apathetic.

“Join me in standing up and speaking out.”

If you have family members or loved ones in the military and you oppose this war, you can JOIN Military Families Speak out by clicking here or by sending an e-mail to mfso@mfso.org

Continue reading on Examiner.com 8 soldiers died Thurs. Soldier’s mother: ’What are they dying for?’ – National Human Rights | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/human-rights-in-national/8-soldiers-died-thurs-soldier-s-mother-what-are-they-dying-for#ixzz1NwpS6NkH